An Open Book

Just because it’s too intense.

It’s crazy the feeling of loving someone so much, so much you can’t breathe and your heart aches in the pleasuring way. You love the person so much that it terrifies you the thought of losing them, that the only thing you can think of is losing them. Liking someone is so common it’s simple but to like someone for a long time is killing, then you end up getting the opportunity of finally being theirs. The opportunity feels so surreal. Because all you thought about is how perfect he or she was… how greta of a person they are, how they deserve a love so extraordinary. The movies don’t completely lie, girl crushes on one boy, they meet, become friends to close friends to best friends, while the girls suffers with her secret, suffers with him going through pain of the other girls he talks to. Then when it’s finally your opportunity you take it for granted a bit. You stay in this shock like is this really happening? is he really mine? am I really kissing him right now?

How long till that’s taken away is all that you can think of… Because everyone has suffered heartbreak.

I think this is just more my personal thought I guess. Going from one great relationship ending in a way that till this day you don’t understand to the great easy simple relationship where you don’t have to try because you’re in love with your best friend and  they’re finally more than just a friend. I do’t think you fully understand how much I love you and how much you mean to me. I ache with pain of possibly losing you cause that’s all I think about, but I think about our future and how all I want is you to be there, I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I hate that it hasn’t been so long since we’ve been official but I feel this way. I feel like we’ve been together for years now and that my heart really belongs to you. I’m so scared of admitting all of this to you because I feel like my feelings are so much more intense than yours. And I don’t want to smother you.

oh god. :’(